The Emerald

My experience as a teacher is filled with several life lessons, anecdotes and memorable interactions with students, peers and others. I began teaching in 2000 to the students of an under-grad business management program. During the first year, a certain student seemed to stand apart from the rest of the group. She, lets call her Emerald, was smart, ahead of the class, proactive - everything that a teacher wanted in a student. Later during the course, she regularly absented from the sessions. Since it was a small group, it was easy to track the students and help them to sort out issues if they sought any assistance. So I tried to find reasons behind Emerald's absence. She was supposed to be suffering from chronic headache. the absence continued and finally Emerald quit the course. I learnt later that she had some problems in the family.

I made several attempts to get in touch and convince her to continue her course. All my calls went unanswered. Years later, in a shopping area, I felt a familiar face pass by. It was Emerald. But I never bothered to stop and say hello to a "dear student". As it was not crowded, there was a higher probability of Emerald noticing me. But she didn't. My ego as a teacher convinced me that it was the student's duty to walk up to me and converse.

Then it happened. During the first week of July 2008, the local papers reported that a young woman jumped from her apartment and ended her life. A note by her mentioned that she was frustrated in life as she couldn't find a job. I looked at her picture and yes, it was Emerald.

I wish I had pushed myself to convince her to continue the course. I wish I had taught them how to be strong. I wish I had let go of my ego. I wish.......